I've Seen It All

I've Seen It All

I've see it all, I have seen the trees

I've seen the willow leaves dancing in the breeze

I've seen a man killed by his best friend,

and lives that were over before they were spent.

I've seen what I was, I know what I'll be

I've see it all, there is no more to see

Bjork (with Thom Yorke)

Remember the first time your heart hurt?  

I remember walking home (1st grade).  A little girl (second grader) yelled out (about me)  "look at how ugly that girl is!  I bet she doesn't have any friends, because she's so ugly!" 

I remember my heart breaking finding out my 'first love'* cheated on me, more than once [*what I considered love then, and now, are considerably different]. 

I remember the guttural pain; learning my birth mother kept me a secret from her family and has no intention of meeting me.

I, like millions others, have my September 11th story.  I wept, and wept for them.  On the ten year anniversary, I didn't watch the specials.  I still remember.

Over the past decade:
I've been to 3 grand-parents funerals.  
I attended a funeral for sweet Ava, who fought CDH courageously for 47 days.  Her mother's courage, still inspires me.
I watched an entire sanctuary fill up, to say goodbye to an amazing man, father, husband, son, and friend.  He left his wife, and 3 kids behind.  His kids are such beautiful souls.  I know he is proud.
I watched a close friend prepare herself and her family for her mother in law's passing (breast cancer).

Then I saw the news on Friday, and I feel - like -  I've seen it all.  I don't like what I see.  I don't want to see anymore.  I only want what matters & is truly important.  I want to live my life to please God.  If I don't have Him, I have nothing.  I pray I show God's love through: words, deeds, thoughts, and actions.   I pray for the health & safety of my family, and my friends. 

I pray for peace and comfort for the families devastated in CT. 

Pink streak for the cause

Pink streak in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month.

     I love any opportunity to do something fun and funky to my hair.  While I realize that a streak won't help cure cancer, it can help make people aware.  I'm one of 'those' people that is of the opinion: "It's just hair."  I had a friends' mom say to me, "Only people with good hair say that."  hmmm.. while I can't say I have 'good' hair.  I can say, I have a LOT of it.  I will also say, I love having it cut short, then I love the wait of growing it back out.  Jeremy NEVER knows what he might come home to.  It's one aspect I fully enjoy being a girl and having options.  

     On a more serious note: While I was in there I witnessed an act of strength, courage and sisterly love.  My hair stylist's (a close family friend, Kathy) sister (Suzy) has cancer.  While I was processing (hair-ese for letting the color process), Suzy came in to have her head shaved.  Kathy did so, tenderly, and meticulous like you would expect a sister too.  I was so proud of both of them.  I can't imagine how hard it must have been for Kathy to take the clippers to Suzy's head.  So, while I say 'it's just hair', at the same time, it's hair, and NOT having it is a cruel reminder how cancer invades our lives.   It reminds me how precious my family and friends are to me.  It reminds me to not take time spent together with friends and family for granted.  It reinforces my un-wavering belief in the Lord above, and His master plan for all of us. I know we will all be reunited in a perfect, healthy heavenly body that my tiny human brain can't even begin to comprehend.  

     This week has flown by.  I knew it was going to be a busy one.  If I'm not mistaken, next week will be even busier.  Can I just say, I understand why the 'Real Housewives' always have assistants.  It's not possible to get everything done with just one person.