Dirty Little Secret

"I'll keep you my dirty little secret (dirty little secret)

Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret"

Dirty Little Secret - All-American Rejects

A website I visit every Sunday: Postsecret.  Not because I'm looking for my secret, [not that I haven't sent one, (wink)] but because I find it fascinating.  Some of the secrets make me laugh, others, break my heart.  


Secrets are funny; especially the ones (secrets) we think are going to shock & appall, only to find complete understanding.  Don't you feel so relieved afterwards?  Like, what was the big deal?!  Obviously I'm not referring to serious secrets (I enjoy kicking puppies, or I'm really Dexter in my spare time), but the ones after confession, we find a closer bond to a friend or family member.  Some of the best conversations with friends include the following statements: "Okay, I'm gonna tell you something", "please don't tell anyone", and "Oh My Gosh!! Me Too!!"  

Here's my best beauty secrets:

Apply a neutral lip liner all over lip, then apply lipstick or lipgloss.  (Especially if it's a colored lipstick, it will stay on much longer!)  My personal favorite nude lip liner: Mary Kay's Neutral Lip Liner.  


If you don't take your eye makeup off at night, the next day, you'll have a short eyelash day. (sad face)


When you apply moisturizer, also, apply to your decollete, neck (in an upward motion), and hands. (Those are the first to show age.)

Here's a few of my dirty funny little secrets:

• Butt cracks make me laugh. I know, it's so immature; I can't help it.  I think they're funny.  [I LOVE the part in Braveheart, where the Scotts lift their kilts & slap their butts.] 
• I don't like my toes to touch anyone's toes. I have to mentally prepare myself to allow my toes to touch someone else's toes. 
• I've seen many of my friends FB photo at the bottom of Postsecret, but have NEVER seen mine, it makes me jealous/mad. (isn't that stupid?!) 
• It scares me how many donuts and girl scout Thin Mints I can consume in one setting.  I bury the evidence in the trash can - or - take the trash out.
• I want at least 3 more tattoos, (including a traditional Polynesian style) (much, MUCH to the chagrin of my parents, and J. 
• I can't stand Julia Roberts.  Every movie preview with her has that damn annoying {ha HAA HAAAAAHH} laugh of hers.  Every single preview! Pay attention next time, you'll hear it.  (I do like Pretty Woman & Steel Magnolias)
• Since my days as drill team captain I still carry the following in my purse/wallet: bandaid, rubberband for ponytail, safety pin, and paperclip.  (such a nerd. so embarrassing)
• I wash my face EVERY night.  Even on the rare occasion I've had too many cocktails, I still wash my face.  The next morning when I wake, I gently pat my eyes to feel for makeup, then smile when I realize I washed!  

When We Were Young

"Can we climb this mountain? I don't knowHigher now than ever beforeI know we can make it if we take it slowThat's takin' easy, easy now, watch it go"When We Were Young - The Killers
Nothing too profound or comical today.  I've been wanting to post, but can't think of much to say.  I know, I know: Jennifer, not much to say?  Impossible.  I will say this.  I've got a BUNCH on my mind, but I'm in the middle of processing everything, and not sure what I want to say, or how to say it.  So until then, enjoy some pictures.
I've said this before: I didn't know I wanted kids until I met J.  I 'retired' from babysitting at the tender age of 13.  It wasn't for me.  I didn't like crying babies.  I didn't like changing diapers.  I was very much a baby myself, so I didn't have much to give.  Makes sense, right?  
I love and adore being a parent.  I love seeing the world through their eyes.  Moreover, I love is their complete inhibition in front of a camera!   
Here are a few shots from our summer 2012 Colorado trip.  

Liam insisted on wearing that huge shirt because he was cold.

chilling, posing before our Coors tour

I can't remember how many times I heard the phrase: "Mom, take a picture of us."

He adores his big brother.  so sweet, when he's not giving me fits.  

what do you say about this pose, except: AWESOME?!

they wanted to squeeze in this nook, just because they could.

my attempt of inhibition in front of the camera. 

i love muscle poses!

seriously LOVE muscle poses!!

no need to worry - those grey shorts are IN the goodwill pile, having seen this picture!!

You Got It (The Right Stuff)

'You got the right stuff, baby

You're the reason why I sing this song'

You Got It (The Right Stuff) - New Kids on the Block

I have a problem.  Not a serious problem, but a problem, nonetheless.  I'm exposed to it every Sunday (or whenever I get around to clipping my coupons).  For you normal folks (non ADD), I bet you're able to flip right past these, without giving it a thought.  I struggle; I can't get past it.  I'm distracted.  I need to know why, who, WHY?  Then I spin an entire life for the person that buys these.  What's worse?  J has to listen to my story about Connie, the woman buying these items.

Are you wondering what I'm talking about?  

Allow me:

I love Elvis as much as the next person, but...

I don't know what to say about this one.

Are you with me so far? 

Unable to move onto the next page, I'm filled with so many thoughts and questions about this stuff: WHO is buying this stuff? Are they buying this stuff for themselves or as a gift?  Is there a HUGE demand for these items?  Are these somebody's prized possession?  Who in the company decided these products needed to be made?  Does the manufacturing company have meetings to decide what product to design/make next?  Why would a company WANT to make something like this?  What would I do if someone gave me this?  Would I be able to save face?  

I like the sentiment, just not the scary tall angels!

As if Texans need more cliches?!

*Connie's unoffical biography:

Connie loves these figures. She and her husband Darryl have been together for 37 years.  Since being empty-nesters, Connie has adopted several 'babies' - (those life like [creepy] newborn dolls).  Darryl puts up with her, and deep down he would be lost without her.  They live on a few acres in Tennessee (or South Carolina? not sure).  She sees that teacup Chihuahua, and KNOWS it's perfect for her collection.  Her house is cozy, and decorated with items found in the ABC Distribution Catalog (the goose you can dress for every holiday is her favorite purchase to date.)  Every square inch of her house displays her collections.  It overflows onto both her front and back deck.  She wears her seersucker mu mus, because they 'breathe'.  (Her hair is in curlers anytime she's at home.)   

  Saturday nights (Darryl bowls with his buddies), she calls to chat with her favorite hosts on QVC or HSN.  This gives her a chance to brag about her collections.  (The QVC & HSN hosts have asked the operators to only let her through once a month, but depending on how nice the hosts are to the operators, determines whether Connie gets through!)  She receives at least one package a day, and has for sometime now.  Darryl has given up on trying to talk her out of her purchases.  He retreats out to his garage/workshop, and is content to do so. Connie and Darryl live a simple, comfortable life.  Connie hopes to pass her collectibles to her daughter and daughter in law.*  

Personally, I feel there are better items to decorate with.  Am I suggesting no collections, or figurines?  Absolutely not.  I love the Willow figures (love the Nativity scene).  Think of this as a cautionary message.  You don't want to end up on A&E's Hoarders or TLC's Buried Alive.  

The best one I've ever found: the solar meerkats.  They were awesomely awful.  They were so awesome awful, I sent the order form to my best friend (with her information already filled out), and instructed her to fill in the credit card information.  Shortly after opening her mail, I received a phone call, and started laughing in with her.  Apparently her husband opened it up, and thought I was being serious....

I am NOT immune to marketing.  I pay attention to ads.  

Example:

Pretty & Yummy looking, right?

(I'm intrigued) 

I've seen them in the store.

Then I see the ad in the coupons. (even more intrigued)  

Next trip (to the store), I study them a second time.  Then a woman chimed in, "Ohh, I liked those.. this one is my favorite, but they're ALL good."  "Cool, thanks," I replied. 

Freezer into the glass:(no prep!)

yah, I did! I added whipped cream.

The Verdict: loved it.  Will DEFINITELY buy again.  Perfect for a pre/post dinner drink.  (one serving ~$2.00)

*Connie & Darryl are figments of my twisted imagination.  I have nothing against these products, the companies that manufacture these products, or the people that purchase them.  The only thing I ask: Please don't buy them for me.  Fair enough?!

*Connie has this ENTIRE collection of shoes.  They're comfortable; don't irritate her corns.

*The pair on the left is her ALL TIME favorite pair.  They're just so versatile!

CONFESSION: I've absolutely purchased items from both: QVC, HSN, as well as ABC Distributing- Could I point them out in my house? Some things yes, other items, I've already purged.