Beautiful Boy

Spring 2003 (I'm riding up the escalator at Barnes and Noble) 

'Okay God, if I should get a pregnancy test on the way home, give me a sign.'  

First book I see: The Expectant Father.. Oh... MY... GOSH..... 

okay.... let's do one more.  

(I'm in line to pay).  Okay God, I'll listen this time:  If I'm REALLY supposed to get a pregnancy test on the way home, give me ONE MORE SIGN.  I look over, and the first person I see, a cute woman from behind.. She turns around:  Oh MY GAWSH....a huge pregnancy belly, 

OKAY, God, Gotcha, loud and clear!  I'll get a test on the way home, although I'm pretty sure I know what the answer is gonna be.

I remember the total elation felt, then the complete fear.. I was going to be in charge of another human being?  Someone completely and utterly dependent on me?  I'm not qualified.  I don't remember everything from my early childhood classes at Tech.  I haven't studied for this.  I haven't passed any tests, or received any licenses.  They are just going to let me bring this child home? To raise, and care for until they are 18 years old, and after that, we have college.  What am I going to do if he doesn't want to go to college?  How am I going to keep this child off of meth?  Am I going to love this child?  What am I going to do if I think he's ugly?  Please God, let him have my eyelashes, and not Jeremy's.  Can I do this?  I'm pretty sure, I can't.  I'm scared.  I don't want to do this, unless I can do an absolutely amazing job.  What if I can't be what they need me to be?  What if they hate me?  What if they turn out like me?  What if they don't?  What if I screw them up? ~ those thoughts were just in the 20 minutes after taking a test, and it coming back positive.  

I still worry about some of those things, but have a snitch more peace.  I can check a few things off too.  We've made it through diapers.  We made it through potty training.  We even learned to tie our shoes, and read.  A lot has happened in 8 years.  There are so many more milestones up ahead too.

Dear Aidan,

You changed my world forever on Sunday, November 23, 2003.  It was a LONG weekend waiting for you.  The first two things the doctor said was, "Look at all his hair," and "Oh, he's got beautiful lips."  (your lips are gorgeous - some girls will be very jealous).  I've never seen daddy beam with pride, so much, as when he first held you.  He changed your first diaper.  

11.23.04

You were such a happy baby.  You were content to play in your crib until I came and got you.  When you were older, your crib might as well been a bounce house.  You were a fast crawler, and when you learned to walk, you did that fast too.  You've always been anxious to get places fast.  You were a stunt baby climber (which included laying on top of your changer to read a book, as well as pushing a window screen out, and climbing down, walking around to the front of the house, to announce your feat!  You always loved music and swimming.  You've always had a curiosity and thirst for knowledge that makes my heart smile.

Aidan & Polly

I can't believe you're 8 years old.  I know at times, you get annoyed with my sentiment, and someday, you will realize, how fast it's all gone by.  Daddy and I are so proud of you.  You are a good boy, with a kind heart.  You make us laugh with your wit.  You make us proud with your choices.  You are creative, clever, and have a fantastic imagination.  I love your drawings.  You're an amazing big brother to Liam.  He loves and adores you.  My heart smiles when I think of how close you are.  I pray you two always remain this close.  I love your continuing thirst for knowledge, and pray it follows you throughout your life.  Please remember Mommy and Daddy are your biggest fans.  We love and support you, and are forever your advocates.

soon enough.  State Fair of Texas 2011.  

In just 8 short years, you won't be pretending: no Mario Kart, the real thing.  It's no wonder I can hardly make it through Toy Story 3 without tearing up.  These past 8 years have flown by.  You're not a baby anymore.  Sometimes when I look at you, I still see that baby, but only in glimpses.  I've loved being your mom.  I feel so blessed to have stayed home with you.  We've had fun, haven't we?  I look forward to continuing to watching you grow up.

I love and adore you,

mom

Prayers answered.  He's healthy, happy, smart, charming, witty, and he has MY eyelashes, and NOT Jeremy's!

There are so many songs about girls, not so many for boys.  Here is my absolute favorite for boys:

John Lennon's Beautiful Boy performed by: Ben Harper