In 1989 when Parenthood came out, it quickly became one of my favorite movies. At the time, it was a strong crush on Leaf Phoenix. I won't delve into my two decade crush on Joaquin in this post, due to the fact I think that deserves it's own post which shall aptly be titled: Dirty Boy Sexy, and address the qualifications for DBS (although I don't think qualification nor definitions are necessary). I digress.
Back then, it was just a funny movie with vomit, uptight parents, and something phallic looking that buzzed. Today the movie has entirely different meaning. I have a new found respect for the movie. I'm on the other side, and take interest/identify with the adult dialogue. Last night, my oldest had his first grade program. [I'm so blessedly oblivious sometimes. I didn't realize it was a PTA meeting beforehand. I should've known better. Of course, that's how the PTA is going to sucker you into attending the PTA meeting. (I forgot to join the PTA this year [GASP], and I didn't get the school directory- they showed ME! Look, I've lived long enough to know not to trash certain things, because who knows what the future holds? It might very well be me up there next year, with no microphone, assuming I'm speaking loud enough for the entire cafeteria to hear me, following parliamentary procedure, voting on school historian. BUT, because I still have the maturity of a teenager, my friend and I were texting another friend sitting attentively in the front row. Our goal, of course: to get her to laugh at our texts. We couldn't hear what the PTA lady was discussing, but I'm sure it was of utmost importance. [Which, by the way: where were cell phones and texting when we were in school? It would have made assemblies and lectures SO much more tolerable! No need for passing notes.... again, my apologies, I digress.]]
Let me get to the point. Why is it so hard to enjoy certain activities? We, as parents, LOVE to see our children perform, but let's face it, we don't love to see other parents' kids perform (family & friends' kids excluded of course)! These programs can be such an ass whip. As an adult with ADD (on a non medicated day, especially), I find it hard enjoying a program like last night. I'm incapable of filtering out all the surrounding noises and goings on. Allow me to elaborate: We've got the toddlers versus the older siblings: (The older siblings are annoyed by the toddler duty, and the toddlers are pissed at the restraints of the strollers. On the off chance that the stroller is not pulled out for this occasion, they're likely to high tail it to the stage towards the program. I think I watched 3 moms wrangle their toddler and pull them back to their aisle (which is an impressive feat, watching a mom hunched over like a gorilla so she won't be in someone's video, carrying her child, the child also dangling- been there done that.) I've got the grandpa needing to get in and out repeatedly, requiring you to move your legs to the side each time. I've got the mom in the row in front of me, continuing to lean to her right (right in front of my view), to try and see her kid, because the woman in front of her, is allowing her 4th grader to knee stand in their chair to better see their kid. I'm the annoying mom looking backwards every 2 minutes, trying to find the husband coming straight from work. Look, I just want to see my kid perform his 2 lines about a carrot and his orange socks! Oh, but we're not done yet. What about these sweet songs that have the ten versus! Oh my gosh! They are so long. One repeat is plenty, but 4?!
Perhaps that's why school programs are covered in movies, and sitcoms continue to dedicate entire episodes to the subject. They are an ass whip, nobody wants to acknowledge. Does this mean I love my kid any less? Uh, no... Does this mean I don't appreciate all the time the music teacher spent, or other teachers spent? Absolutely not~ I totally appreciate it. [An ADD side note: the music teacher plays the zither, [strum strum strum strum....] As a former dancer (not stripper), I would suggest shorter programs, songs, etc. My ballet teacher loved the 15 minute pieces, the audience, not so much! I don't mind the last minute scavenger hunts for certain clothing. I take pride in a task such as that. I struggle with my inability to filter out or concentrate on school programs without noticing all of the above. The other bad part is that I don't hide my emotions well. I have little filter on my face. I looked thoroughly disgusted, because I was. In a few weeks, when my kindergartner has his program, I will try to remember to take my medicine. Maybe that way I will be able to filter out all those other annoying parents there, and feel less like Steve Martin, wanting to explode, unable to enjoy these parental rites of passage.
I understand the big smiles of the parents as we're all walking to our cars. We're relieved we survived another program without making a scene. I tell my son how proud I am (because I GENUINELY mean it), and re-live HIS favorite parts with a genuine smile.
Blessing footnote: After all of this is written and re-written, I still maintain the outlook, whilst an ass whip nonetheless, I wouldn't trade it for the world! It's my ass whip to endure.
No comments:
Post a Comment