It's My Life

Beatings will continue until morale improves.

That 'morale' poster is so funny to me.

One time Jeremy asked a co-worker why this was funny.  The guy didn't get it.  He had some other odd far-stretched theory.  He tried to explain to the guy, it's cyclical. 


I have found this to apply to motherhood as well with some changes:

Requests will cease once requests have been completed.

While waiting for one kid in Math club, the other 3 (I take 2 neighborhood girls home) were playing, and it gave me a chance to chat with some of my favorite mom friends.  We were discussing the monotony of our everyday phrases.


EVERY MEAL:
"Bottoms on the chair.
bottom on the chair, please.
bottoms on the chair, PLEASE.
Aidan, put your BOTTOM on the chair."


"Liam, please sit down while it's meal time.
Liam, where are you going? It's meal time, we're sitting at the table now.
LIAM, PLEASE sit down.
AIDAN, BOTTOM on the chair.
I'm sorry, babe, what were you saying about your meeting?"


"Please stop smacking.
Boys, please chew with your mouths closed.
Boys, please stop smacking, and use your good manners.
No, it doesn't mean chew slower, it just means we don't want to see your food. 
Why? because it's rude manners.
Yes, in some countries, it's a compliment, but not here. We chew with our mouths closed in America, and use good manners.
Thank you."


EVERY AFTERNOON:
"TV time over, please turn the TV off, and gather your homework.
Aidan, TV time is over.
AIDAN. please turn the TV OFF."


"homework is part of life, buddy
Yep, I do remember what it's like to be a kid.
Well, I'm sorry you feel like I'm ruining your life."


"Do you have your homework box?
Where's your homework box?
Homework boxes, please!
Boys: where do we keep the homework boxes?
please go put these homework boxes up."


EVERY EVENING:
"I need you to do 4 things:
brush your teeth & go potty
wash your hands
put your jammies on
pick out your book for night time reading.
okay, YES technically that's five things, I was counting the hygiene as 1 part, but we can count that as 2.
Fine, will you PLEASE do the FIVE things I've asked?
Have you brushed your teeth?
Liam, Aidan, have you boys brushed your teeth yet?
Boys, BRUSH your teeth.
THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE TEETH BRUSHING TO ME.
Alright, I'm going to start taking away privileges next time I come in here."


It's these phrases used day after day that grate on me.  What makes it even worse? The boys' response: 'gaaa.. you ALWAYS say that, or I know, I know..,  every day, you say, blah blah blah.....  (of course it's said in the nasally - this is how you're supposed to imitate your mom's voice).   grrrr 


Um, HELLO, IF YOU WOULD DO WHAT I ASKED, I WOULDN'T REPEAT MYSELF OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!!!! We could actually discuss: what Ghost rider's costume for Halloween would be, or how cool it would be to have a 5 day survivor themed birthday party, but we can't, because I have parental obligations, and you're not obliging...


I can remember my aunt & uncle pre & post kids.  They seemed so much cooler pre-kids. (Sorry Dave & Lorna.)  Now I understand why: having kids sucks all the coolness out.  You don't have the energy for cool.  Energy is spent on repetitive phrases and consistency.  


I take solace knowing we're not the only parents out there going through the same thing.  I think it's one reason we're so excited when other couples get pregnant: misery loves company. (a little sick, I know).
Don't get me wrong: I wouldn't change my life for Kim Kardashian's wardrobe (endorsements, maybe).  It's my life, and I love it.  Doesn't mean I don't get sick of repeating myself and certainly reserve my right to bitch about it. (and that's what I'm doing).  

"It's my life

Don't you forget

It's my life

It never ends"

  - Talk Talk, (re-done by No Doubt)